The Last Days of Jack Sparks by Arnopp Jason

Author:Arnopp, Jason [Arnopp, Jason]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
ISBN: 9780356506869
Publisher: Little, Brown Book Group
Published: 2016-03-02T16:00:00+00:00

Part II

CHAPTER NINE

Bad things happened since I last wrote.

Blood all over these sheets.

Blood all over me.

I need help.

I keep expecting to hear the grunts of LAPD officers out in the corridor. Expecting the door to burst inwards.

It took so much focus to call Sherilyn Chastain on the phone. My hands have this Parkinson’s quake, and when she picked up I could barely talk properly.

In the back of my mind, those infected words kept going round and round. Those words that wanted to splurge out through my mouth. Out through my fingertips on to the keyboard, then on to the screen.

The thing wants me to let go and just type those words forever. This is worse than drug addiction. Surely you can only carry such a weight for so long before your knees buckle. But I must not bend.

I won’t get the better of myself! I won’t.

Sherilyn stayed calm on the phone, which really helped. She kept her voice all steady and told me to breathe deep.

She knew all this would happen. She must have, because she tried to warn me. Why didn’t I listen when she told me to abandon the Mimi Experiment? Because I’m a fucking idiot and I’ve brought all this on myself. And others. Oh God, oh God.

Between some of these keys – between the Q and the W, and the K and the L – there are these little canals of blood. Beneath them all runs a lake. This whole thing may as well be written in blood, ha ha! Laughing feels good, feels important, got to play it down, got to stay fucking calm here.

I cannot let me get the better of myself.

Sherilyn said she’d take the next plane over. I was so pathetically grateful I cried.

And while I wait, I’m going to write exactly what went down. Because no matter what happens to me now, there has to be a record. And I’m afraid this thing inside will regain full control, this time forever. If that happens, I’ll have no objectivity left. I’ll be a big bag of meat writhing around in a secure facility, screaming those words and nothing else.

Up until now, I’ve described real events while distorting certain truths.

I’ve played down the drugs.

I’ve made no mention of the fear, the tears, all that slow-boil nausea in my guts.

I haven’t told you the real reason I’m writing Jack Sparks on the Supernatural.

Let me go back to what happened after I found the boiler room. Three, maybe four nights ago? Since then, I haven’t been able to write anything up because it’s been Mimi during the day, Bex at night.

I have to relive exactly how I felt and thought at the time, no matter how stupid and blinkered it now seems. But now I can be honest, both with you and with myself. There’s been so much I haven’t been willing to admit even to myself. Bravado may feel like a shield, but when you’re telling yourself lies, it becomes a prison.

I really hope this writing focus keeps me stable for the next twenty-four hours, until Sherilyn gets here.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.